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Husband hardly spends time with me and seems to be addicted to his other interests

Asked by Female, 31, Married

It has been 5 months since I got married. It was a love cum arranged marriage. Since the day we got married, I notice the change in my husband's behavior. During our dating period, we used to do lots of things together. But after marriage, apart from honeymoon trip, I can't recall anything that we have done together. He is least interested in spending time with me. Rather he prefers to read comics, watch you tube videos, serials etc. Even if he talks, it seems as if it is just for the sake of formality. If I ask him to help me with the household chores, or anything, he just gets angry. Though I am not that demanding, and in the initial days, I have let him have his space considering that he must be missing his old bachelor days. Now his only occupation is to spend his time with his other interests and I am no more in his list. Not only me, one of our mutual friends too has noticed that he has stopped talking and keeps himself busy on his phone. What should I do?

Answer

Sneha

Psychotherapist

Answered over 4 years ago

Dear Writer, thank you for writing to us. I understand you are upset over your husband's behaviour. Change can be hard for some people and everybody has different ways of dealing with it. It is the first year of marriage and it is an important time to understand each other's needs while having your own expectations. It's important to know what one can and cannot compromise on. I suspect your husband may have shut down in the face of all these changes. Have you tried talking to him about his non- participation?
Ask him if he is happy?
Tell him you understand that it isn't easy for him to deal with this but neither is it for you. You can be open about how it's affecting you emotionally and how this distance is likely to affect and alter your relationship.
Please message back to continue discussing. Regards

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