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Married for 3 years. Not attracted to my husband. We are completely different from each other. Also attracted towards someone else.

Asked by Female, 25, Married

Married for three years , my husband is 5 years elder to me . I feel alone in this marriage . Cant get attached to him , i feel alone in this marriage . Our ideologies are different . Lifestyle is different . Hardly any similar taste of interest . We dated for 5 years before the marriage but i was too young to realise , i also was attracted towards someone else then so i couldnt focus on the person i was choosing for marriage .

Answer

Sneha

Psychotherapist

Answered over 4 years ago

Dear writer, thank you for writing in. I understand you have been married for 3 years and dated your husband for 5 years before that. You feel alone because you can't get attached to him. The difference in your ideologies and lifestyle have contributed to this situation. To get a better grip of your relationship can you tell me more about yourself and your husband as individuals? When you say you were too young, attracted to someone else and couldn't focus on your relationship.. well, It's quite normal to find people outside of your relationship attractive and it's a much needed contributor to fantasies. It's what you do with that attraction that might be cause for concern. I also wonder if there's any part of you that feels some sort of regret about having gotten married. Either way the bottom line is, what do you hope to accomplish here and what would you like to focus on? Think about what made you want to be with your husband and what you like about him when you answer this question. Please do message back to continue our discussion. Regards.

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