We take our user's privacy very seriously and will never, ever expose any personal details. All personal indentifiable information on these questions here are carefully removed and published only after getting permission from user.

My girlfriend is overthinking, confused about our relationship

Asked by Male, 22, Single

I met a girl around 7-8 months ago. It was back when we started job. She was a fresher like me. I got to know her, became good friends. We used to hang out together most of the time. And to be honest, I started liking her. She asked me about this a couple of times but I denied. Wasn't sure if she thinks the same about me? Recently, she was at my place. We had some drinks and made out. The next day, we discussed it and came to that we couldn't be just friends anymore. She also admitted that she had never thought about me in the "other way". She suggested that we should give it a try and I am completely in support of that. Thing is, although she has said about giving it a try, she seems to be overthinking a lot on this. So the problem is that I don't want her to take any decision just because she has to. I mean, it feels like she said that because things happened and not because she wants to. What should I do?

368 Views

Answer

Sneha

Psychotherapist

Answered over 4 years ago

Dear writer, I appreciate your having written in. I understand that you are worried that you might get hurt and just now you are very unsure about the fate of your relationship. When you say that you think your friend is overthinking things or that you don't want her to feel obliged into being with you; you might be doing a little bit of overthinking yourself. You also said this might be your potential first relationship and although everyone's got to have a first at some point; i think that you might be letting your inexperience so to speak turn into an insecurity. Firstly you need to believe that you are special and worthy of having someone interested in you regardless. Secondly it is only when 'things happen' that a good friendship can turn into a relationship. You both are going through the awkwardness that comes with the "friends to partners" stage and while some adjust to it easily enough, there are those who need more time. So my friend I suggest you give yourself and your potential girlfriend some more time to find your bearings; in the process of which should you find out that she wants out then yes although it might hurt, you might have to chart it down as a life experience and that she lost out on getting to know someone special.

Speak with a Relationship Counselor today