Partner gets easily upset by my tone and words
Hi,
Its great to notice that you are already aware of different personalities both of you have and are looking for solution, where as there is nothing wrong in having upfront nature or being sensitive to words and tone, solution would be found in learning new communication skills and practicing those from both ends , where you can learn to express your strong views in assertive ways then that from making him feel that you are aggressive, that will help him feel safe and lower down his irritation and anger outbursts as well.
Once he feels safe you can always talk to him about how both of you working together on his anger outbursts, but he will listen only once you make him feel that you have worked on your own-self.
hope this helps :)
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