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Should I trust cheating husband after a sext was found from a girl?

Asked by Female, 30, Married
My husband had an affair with a girl. And when he was caught he promised he will never do such a thing. He also locked his mobile even after I caught him, this incident happened one year back. Now after one year i found a text msg on whatsapp of that girl saying "good morning janeman with kisses* and in some way i saw it, now my husband claims she was texting and trying to call him. But he didn't not respond. I am worried as to what and how should i believe my husband?
Answer
Thumb nisha
Nisha Bothra
Counselling Psychologist

Hi there! Thank you for reaching out. I can imagine the confusion and stress you are going through. At the same time, you seem to be smart and aware of your situation. I understand you want to give your husband the benefit of doubt. But first, ponder over a few points: If you were in this girl's place, would you still be texting those words to a man who had indeed ended his relationship with you a year back? If this relationship ended and your husband has nothing to hide, why is he keeping his phone locked? Does he share his mobile password with you freely or does he flinch if you check his phone? If you think these questions through, I believe you will have your answer. Sometimes we feel that if we look away or if we give enough time, things will sort themselves out. However, remember that what we allow will continue. You will need to decide for yourself if you are willing to tolerate his behavior in your relationship. More strength and light to you! All the best!

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