Breaking up is sometimes the best possible option for the future of your love life. ‘Should I breakup with my girlfriend’ is one of the most common questions in this generation.
And sometimes, it’s the worst mistake you could possibly make.
Sometimes it feels impossible to know if you should do it, or keep trying with her.
It can be hard to tell how much we change when we shift between our social circles. We frequently lack the perspective to see the differences. Sometimes it’s as simple as feeling drained when you’re with them and feeling energized when you’re with the rest of your friends. Sometimes it’s a subtle shift between being a dynamic, assertive person when you’re away from your significant other and becoming a submissive beta when you’re with them, afraid to take a stand for fear of provoking another fight.
It’s natural that you’re going to behave slightly differently depending on who you’re hanging out with. But night and day changes are a sign of trouble. Now don’t get me wrong: your relationship isn’t a democracy, and your family and friends don’t get ultimate veto power over who you date. But when all of your friends are pointing out how sad or upset you seem whenever you’re with your girlfriend… it’s time to start thinking of getting out.
Take this short quiz now and find out whether you should really break up with her, or whether your relationship deserves a second chance…
Here are the 10 quiz questions, that’ll help you make the right decision in your relationship.
1. Does she make you happy?
So what does it actually mean when we say ‘does she make you happy’? Well, in a relationship there are going to be ups and downs, highs and lows. But despite all this there has to be a common emotion within you both, and that is happiness. You might feel sad, lonely or depressed but when you just talk to your girlfriend or see her, she”ll wipe clean of all the negatives and sadness that you are going through. “Your girlfriend will make make you happy, when the world makes you cry”. But if your “girlfriend makes you sad, and the rest of the world makes you happy”, you really need to reconsider your relationship.
2. How often do you talk to her?
Communication is very essential in a relationship. It can convey a lot of hints than you think it could. If your girlfriend talks to you often enough, very well that’s a great deal. But if she’s very hesitant, and it’s you who should start a conversation every time, then there’s a problem that you’ve to look for. There are chances that, your girlfriend doesn’t love you anymore. Communication is the bridge between you both. If this bridge itself is broken down, then there would be no means of understanding between you both. Communication and effort are the key. It’s when you’ve tried to fix things and you’re still stuck in that rut that it’s time to consider leaving. So, choose wisely!
3. Do you have life outside of the relationship?
There’s a difference between being codependent – or an abusive relationship, for that matter – and not having a life of your own. Your life may be in transition. You may just not have many friends. You and your girlfriend may just have so many interests in common that you tend to do everything together. The difference is whether you could have a life of your own if you were to make the effort, or if you’re forever sublimating your own desires and independence to someone else’s. In simpler terms, you should be independent of your choices and desires. Your girlfriend shouldn’t be the remote of your life.
4. Do you fight often?
It’s one thing to have a fight – they happen, no matter how “perfect” the relationship is. It’s another when what you’re fighting about isn’t really what you’re fighting about. When you’re fighting wrong – when you’re not listening to the underlying meaning of what the two of you are saying, when you’re both using past mistakes that you’ve supposedly forgiven as weapons – the issue frequently isn’t the subject of the fight. The issue is the two of you. And it’s a sign that it’s time to drop the hammer on your relationship and get out.
5. Does she abuse you?
“The important thing is that you listen to your instincts,”
Your girlfriend might be abusing you mentally or verbally. She might be hurting you beyond limits. “Don’t stay with someone out of guilt or pressure … that will always lead to resentment and disconnection.” Abuse of any kind — physical, mental, emotional, substance, whatever — is reason number one to sever ties. If your significant other is hurting you, or if you are hurting your significant other, it’s time to split.
6. Does your girlfriend avoid you?
So if she is making excuses about things like introducing you to their friends or family, talking about the future, or opening up about herself, she’s probably avoiding it for a reason. When you ask her for a date or a movie-night, she’s avoiding and she doesn’t have a valid reason for not coming. That’s a green signal for she’s avoiding you. She lies to you a lot and hides a lot of secrets. All of this indirectly means, your girlfriend is avoiding you and you really need to figure what the best for both of you.
7. Does she consider you as her priority?
When you’re dating someone, that’s kind of a big deal. It’s not too much to ask for you and your relationship to be close to the top of your partner’s priority list. I mean, sure, there are times when school, work, health, or family stuff needs to be at the forefront of your partner’s radar, but you still deserve to feel like you’re important. You still deserve a piece of whatever time they have left to give, no matter what’s going on. If they’re shutting you out, for any you deserve better. Unfortunately, timing is a harsh mistress. You might not be a priority in your partner’s life because of unavoidable life circumstances. On the other hand, you might not be a priority because your partner just isn’t putting enough effort into your relationship. That’s the one that stings. If you’re not a priority, then you’ll never come first, you’ll rarely feel special, and you can be sure that your future probably looks more like the inside of a trash can than the inside of a happy home — you’ll never be truly satisfied or feel equal in your relationship, to put it bluntly.
8. Is she still in love with her ex?
Does she still talk about him? Does she tell you how awful he is and how she can’t stand being around him? If she still gets angry or upset when she talks about her ex, chances are she still loves him. That’s just how it works. She doesn’t know why she ever got involved with him or how he’s the worse person she’s ever met, etc.At the same time she still has this undeniable love for him. It’s the same song in many different versions. Maybe it’s to convince you or perhaps to convince herself that she doesn’t love him anymore. But deep down inside, she really does. It’s just human nature to deny it!
9. Is there a spark in your relationship, as it was in the beginning?
It’s easy to get stuck in a relationship rut. What was once all weekends away, spontaneous sex and staying up all night dancing, drinking or talking about nothing can somehow transform into a relationship of routine. You may still love each other as much as you ever have done, but the spark and excitement in a relationship can fizzle out over time.
10. Do you still have feelings for her?
Many of them, despite not loving the person still stay in the relationship. Sometimes, you may not love her like you used to. Everything about your love and relationship has changed in the course of time. It’s been a while since you both first met, and life happens to everyone. That’s just the way it is. It’s totally okay to feel the way you are feeling right now. Some things are meant to be the way hey are and none can change it. You have to confess the way you feel about your girlfriend to her. No matter how hard it’s going to be you have to stay true to yourself, and it’s fine to not really love your girlfriend. Sometimes,
“TRUTH IS LIKE SURGERY IT HURTS, BUT IT CURES”
I must tell you that breakups are rarely easy but that it is nonetheless not a good idea to stay in a relationship because you are worried that your partner will be very distressed by the breakup. If you stay in a relationship because of your partner’s mental health issues you will become increasingly resentful and will become more and more distressed. The important factor when breaking up with a depressed and fragile partner is how you handle the breakup. I would advise you to speak to your girlfriend in a gentle and loving manner about your feelings. Help her get into therapy so that she has the support needed to deal with the breakup.
