Routine gets to us all, especially if you are in a relationship or married. It’s all about who will do buy the grocery, who will prepare lunch, pack it and many more chores – especially if both partners are working. If you have children, the chores are aplenty.
Once the daily grind gets to us, we tend to forget about living, forget the little things that we did when we were courting and the result is fatigue – with the routine and with your partner. We distance ourselves and our jobs, our chores, children become a priority. If you feel the need to be with your partner and find that the routine is killing the romance, take time out with him/her.
Start with the following things-
Make it happen
The sheer thought of a vacation is exciting. Make an announcement to your partner at a moment when he is relaxed. You could start by saying, “Why don’t we go out for a few days?” Check the response, if it’s suitable to go ahead and plan. If your partner needs time to think about it, give him time. Maybe he has work issues on his mind, some deadlines and would like to be in a relatively relaxed state of mind before going on a trip. Make sure you keep the children with grandparents or family members so that you are not stressed while you are away.
Do your research
Look at destinations that are easy to navigate. If your partner doesn’t like the heat, please do not plan a break in a hot place. It would only spell disaster.
Check out flights, trains or roads well in advance. Consider the costs involved. Does it suit your budget? Is the connectivity good? Are the hotels of a good standard?
It definitely is exciting to plan a trip as it gives us a boost of adrenaline, anticipation of the destination and the very fact that we would be relaxing and having new experiences. Make sure that you do not pack in too much as it would not allow you both to spend time together – add that candle lit dinner, or long walks during sunset so that you both can connect.
If your partner is the type who prefers company, choose companions who you are comfortable with. Do not experiment with new friends, it may be a disaster. Choose friends who are closer to your age, who have familiar likes and dislikes and plan each day. Do not expect to have a fun outing without planning.
What a trip can do for you
A well-planned trip can bring you both closer as there is a lot of sharing and new experiences. Right from the planning to execution, the trip bonds you.
In case of unmarried couples, it brings you closer in a way that you share space. You understand each other’s habits – good and bad. It makes you patient, accommodating and accepting of your partner. The good thing is that it creates happy memories. New experiences for you to cherish.
Group travel lessons
If you are a group of friends who are couples, you can observe your partner’s behaviour – is he patient with people, helpful or is he irritable, short-tempered. Trips are a great way to gauge a person’s temperament, as we are exposed to a new environment beyond the daily routine – out of our comfort zones. Delayed flights, rude staff, group dinners will all go a long way in showing you how your partner responds to situations.
Bonding while travelling
Right from the flight taking off when your partner reaches out for your hand to making a cup of tea for you in the hotel room, it’s a way to bond. If you have been married for years, look at a trip as an opportunity to re-connect. Make that effort. The romantic environment, which could be the hills or lakes around you, is a great way to get closer to your partner. Carry some of your most attractive evening wear, treat it like a first date and re-kindle your romance.
Don’ts
– Don’t fawn all over your partner 24×7. If your husband wants to go for adventure sports, allow him. You can just soak in the tub, read a book or engage in a spa massage. Let him have his free time, this way he will look forward to the evening together to share his experiences. Similarly, engage yourself in an activity by yourself – it could be a cooking class, some games or shopping.
– Don’t discuss the expenses while on the trip. Make the budget in advance, keep aside additional funds for ‘extras’ so that it doesn’t spoil the fun, more so if one of you is money-minded. Money discussions can ruin a holiday.
– Don’t get jealous if your guide or other women flirt with your mate. Take it in the right spirit.
– Don’t pack in too much. Allow time each day for connecting with each other and yourself. That is the true essence of a holiday.
– Don’t carry too much of connectivity. Maybe just your mobile phone or if you want to document your travels, your laptop for sure. BUT set aside a time for the uploading of photos, or work time on the laptop. Or it can ruin your holiday.
– Don’t be afraid to communicate freely. If you are tired, say so. Don’t be a superman or superwoman and crash before it’s noon!
After you are back
Review your trip, individually and together. What did you learn? What went wrong, if it did? Would you take another trip again soon?
A healthy discussion will allow you to see the goodness in your relationship, or cracks if any and encourage you to deal with them.
Re-visit the vacation and re-live the happy moments. It will give you confidence about your relationship.
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