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Abused by husband and mother-in-law, feel suicidal

Asked by Female, 45, Married

Hi, I have been married for 13 years now. I was a working woman till 3 years ago. My problem is that I have a mother in law who always wants to be the power centre of the house and this is how my husband likes. All decisions are taken between them and if I try to make my presence felt, it is not liked by my husband. One example is that he never gives me money for household expenses and wants me to take it from his mom to who he gives money for household. When I protest, I am treated like a housebreaker. They have a very strong bond which she uses to her advantage as he never questions her. But he has no time, or money for me. I have my savings which he wants me to use for my expenses. I have no issues but those saving were always for our joint investments but now he will not use it but will also not spend his money on me. My MIL keeps poisoning him against me but he always finds fault in me. Believe me things are so bad that I contemplate committing suicide at times. We have 2 kids - 12 n 10 years. He has hit me in the past n now has started abusing me verbally before kids. We don't talk for months but he wants sex frequently.

Answer

Harish Bhuvanendran

Life Coach

Answered almost 5 years ago

Greetings,

I read and read about what you wrote and can tell you that what problems that you are facing and extremely engraving for your kids, if it is happening in their presence. Firstly I ask you to sit and talk with Mother-In-Law and make her understand and increase the bonding with her, because clearly she is the one according to you is poisoning him against you; so I suggest you strengthen that bond that you have with her, initially she might think that this is a part of some big plan that you are executing against her, but this is in reality to work for a better future for you and your 2 kids.

Secondly, about the money issues, you talk with your husband regarding the same; and if things are working out, trying taking up a job in which you can earn something and take your mind off some trivial things which might seem bigger than usual in some cases.

Thirdly about the abuse, you need to escalate the matter and seek professional help at the earliest, so that before the matter gets too out of the hand to contain, look out for viable solutions before hand.

Always prevention is better than cure.

Thank you.

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