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Getting married, worried about gossip about past romantic relationships

Asked by Female, 25, Single

I am by nature a very jovial, talkative and lively person. Be it a girl or a boy I instantly gel well. It has acted as a blessing and as a curse. I studied in an all girl's school and college and I had guy friends in tuitions and cultural groups. I've faced a problem of being close to a few guys which everybody thinks of me in wrong light. Due to my nature, I tend to get attached emotionally to any person be it a boy or a girl. People have spoken a lot behind my back about this behaviour of mine mistaking it to be a romantic relationship and they always tend to link me with the person I am close to. Now I'm getting married, it's an arranged marriage and everyday these thoughts haunt me about the number of link ups there has been in my life and the things people have spoken about me. I can't undo the past. But what can I do to ease the stress out of my mind? I love my fiance truly and he has accepted me without raising even one question about my past.

Answer

Shriti Mitra

Counseling Psychologist

Answered almost 5 years ago

Hi,

Let me first congratulate you as you are getting into a new phase of you life.

Something that is really nice to know about you is you are very jovial, talkative, and lively. It feels really wonderful to stay around someone like this. Makes every moment easier and worthwhile as you would have a lot of stuff to share and every moment would fun for you and your partner. These days it is actually very difficult to find people who are so interactive.

You did mention that you are scared that people would talk ill about you as they take your behavior in a very wrong manner, they have also spoken behind your back and you are scared that they would tell something to your in laws and also to your would be husband.

You also mentioned that your fiance like you a lot and has never raised a question, which is something really important and nice for the relationship. How about taking sometime and talking to him openly and sharing your concerns with him. Try and see if he understands as you are not at fault from anywhere. Share every detail with him so that he is aware of everything around and supports you when you face things like this.

Do get back to me for further assistance. All the best once again.

Regards,

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