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How do I save my marriage with my husband who is caught having extra marital affairs with two different married women and accuses me of bitter relationship
Asked by Female, 52, Married
I am married happily for 29 years with two nice children. I am 52 and husband is 57 years.
For last three years my husband was caught on extramarital affairs with exchange of emails photos with two different married women and lastly with a divorcee and employee of our own company who is 38 years and this time it is beyond mails etc. Went with her to some hill stations and sea side showing as an official tour and ultimately i have received some photos of them from that lady. After this we are in extremely bad relations and exchanging abuses and he is accusing me for this bitter relationship because I have asked help from my newly married daughter and my mother and his niece with whom I have a very good relation. I want to save my marriage because of myself because of my daughter and lastly for our 16 year son appearing for board exam this year. Now he is looking at me as his enemy for whom he is exposed to some of our family members and specially to my daughter and the table is turned by him making me guilty. He is such an obstinate person that he thinks he doesn't require any professional help and refuses to talk to any psychologist. Before all these episodes he was lovable and such a nice person in relationship with me that i could not imagine by whom and how he has been transformed into such action of infidelity. We have our own business for so many years with full faith he has maintained the business in my name and happily we built our properties jointly. Now after altercations and finding him guilty he suddenly started saying that i have cheated him all these years and he has worked hard.
This is a real trauma of my life and i am so depressed and i want to save my marriage because i really want to stay with him happily.
Answer
Sneha
Psychotherapist
Dear Writer, thank you for writing in. You have shown so much courage in reaching out to us. I understand that the state of your marriage has left you feeling upset and depressed.
To understand your situation a little better could you tell me if there have been any ongoing problems in your marriage that could have lead to your husband cheating on you? Or
Did anything specific happen three years ago that may have triggered your husband to have affairs?
Even though these affairs were found out do you think your husband regrets his actions at all?
I understand that having your trust broken repetitively can be very traumatic. Before we can figure out a way to help your relationship can you tell me more about yourself and your husband as individuals?
Please message back to continue our discussion.
I am here to help and once you clarify some of my questions we will figure it out together. Regards
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