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Wife suspects me of infidelity, tries to control my life

Asked by Male, 35, Married
My wife controls every aspect of my life. I want to divorce her as I unable to focus at work.
Answer
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Pooja Hari Kumar
Counsellor & Special Educator

Hey. I am sorry to hear all the pain you had to go through but before you make a drastic step of divorcing I feel you should Confront Her. Try to lead the argument toward what makes her do such things. Ask her why she is so reluctant to trust you and feels she has to oversee every aspect of your life. Turn the discussion to her instead of just saying, "NO." which can fail. Help her face her fears to build her trust for you, and weaken her conflicting spirit. While you're confronting it should just be you and her, do not involve a third party or family member. Mention to her, that you believe she needs counselling, to help her understand the seriousness of the situation.

If she agrees for counselling I suggest go in for marital counselling .Also, make a stand .Put an end to allowing her whims and carrying the baggage of needing her approval in every decision you make. Establish boundaries. Make it clear to her that you know what is best for you .Be blunt and upfront in some circumstances The idea is not to make her feel unwanted, but to simply define her role in your life. Be firm in saying that the relationship is heading to a premature end if she doesn't end her interfering ways, even though it may be heartbreaking.

The last option you have is to end the relationship and be firm about your decision. If you don't feel she is capable of changing, you need to ask yourself if you can live with a controlling obsessed wife. In case the partner threatens or attempts violence against you or her, know that you are not, and never were, responsible for her actions.

Hope this has helped . If you need further clarification, please send a private message.

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